If you need to know how do I know if someone is lying to me, then you will appreciate these insights. It can be very difficult to know if someone is lying to your face, unless you know what to look for. Furthermore, it is important to point out that there is currently no sure way to definitively know if someone is or is not lying. For example, polygraph testing can’t always tell as their might be accurate readings and faulty results when implemented. Thus, just because you see potential cues to deception, do not assume that you are accurate. Often times, to make a determination that someone is lying, you need concrete evidence. For example, you need to have a receipt with their signature on it for a place and time and then you need to have them tell you they were some place totally different at that particular occasion to potentially catch them in a lie. Even then, you might not have caught them in a lie, they may just have had a bad memory of their activities. Hence, take these insights into nonverbal behavior as a reason to dig a little deeper into the veracity of what people say. Don’t make definitive judgments based on non-verbal actions alone.
With that said, let’s examine how you might get an insight into whether someone is lying. Perhaps we have all heard that people have tells when they play cards. You might even heard your friends say I knew you didn’t have a good hand because I could tell how you played with your ring. Thus, the point here is that certain non-verbal behaviors might take place when you are lying that you wouldn’t normally exhibit otherwise. As a result, people pick up on that and notice something different. Unfortunately, that non-verbal cue isn’t always accurate. For example, maybe you were playing with your ring one time because you had an itch there. Thus, interpreting that action as a cue to deception or lying wouldn’t be accurate. Thus, you must realize that matters of behavior are not always black and white. If you would like to learn more, I would suggest you spend a few minutes reviewing the center-for-nonverbal-studies.org page.
If you are wondering how do I know if someone is lying to my face, keep in mind, that looking at their face might not be the best way to discern this. Simply put, think about all the times we got in trouble as a kid. The one thing our mother or father might say to us is look me in the eyes when you answer my question. Thus, if we were going to lie, we would have to do so by looking our caretaker in the eyes. The first time we did that, it was not easy to do. In fact, I got busted for my lies immediately as a child. However, with some practice as a kid, I got good at it. I would venture to say many of us got good at it. The point I am making is the one I learned about in school. We learn how to mask our emotions, so we don’t hurt someone’s feeling or get ourselves in trouble. Over the years, we have had lots of practice doing that and are probably good at hiding our emotions. Thus, if you are wondering how do you know if someone is lying, look at the extremities to see what they are doing. Are their fingers and feet doing something they don’t normally do when they talk to you? That might be a good starting point.
Another thing you might consider doing if you are wondering how do you know if someone is lying through text is to call them. I have wondered whether kids are being truthful when they tell me they are places and I don’t feel they are. Thus, by calling them, you might here background noises that catch them in a lie. If a teenager says he is at the library studying and you call and hear a wild party in the background or they refuse to answer the phone call, you might surmise something is not right. Another way to check might be to call them on the content of their text. For example, if your teen tells you they are at the library via text and you have a sneaking suspicion they are not, I challenge them back with a little white lie of my own. For example, I might say something like what a coincidence. I’m outside the library trying to find a parking spot to return my book, could you please come out and get the book and walk it in for me please so I don’t have to. If they say sure, I’ll be right out, you know they were telling the truth. If they say they can’t, something might be up and, in my case, my intuition is usually right. The reality is that it is difficult to tell if someone is lying through text in my opinion. However, it is easier to get cues to deception from non-verbal communication. Thus, if you want to get an insight if someone is possibly lying to you, I would recommend you talk with them versus texting them. Finally, at the end of the day, you can do what I do. I listen to my gut. It may not be definitive, but it has usually served me well.
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